So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
