Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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