Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Who died my cat blue again?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
