Define "chronic" masturbator.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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