This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
