1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
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