try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
