Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
