From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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