the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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