P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
