Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
