Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
its liver damage thursday
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
