its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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