he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
