Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
