ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
