Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
