my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
