So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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