Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
