I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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