I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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