writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
