it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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