you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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