WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
