Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
