That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
