Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
