I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
