Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
