So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
