ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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