no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
