when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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