.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize