He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
so let's talk penis.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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