All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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