I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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