Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
