Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
