so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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