It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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