If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize