do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
