what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
