I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
he had hair everywhere except his balls
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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