JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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