I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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