I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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