I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
