dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
