Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I have aggressive nipples.
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