so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
