Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
