Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
