So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
