I swear god or herbie drove my car home
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
