How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
