Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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