She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
