scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
