He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
