We just shotgunned beers for America
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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