A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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