shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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