you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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