with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize