My pussy is not your playground.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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